The Results
by psalm57
Summary: UPDATED Andy and Linda took great precautions to prevent the contraction of the disease, but what if it wasn't enough? What if Ephram's nightmare came true? Please r and r.
1. Chapter 1

The Results  
  
Dr. Brown's hands shook as he held the envelope in his hands. The ink began to smear under his sweaty palms. He attempted to break the seal, but he could not bring himself to do so.  
  
After Ephram's emotional monologue, he decided he should be tested for the HIV virus. Ephram feared greatly what might happen to his father if he was to get the disease. Delia and he had already lost one parent. He couldn't lose another.  
  
Dr. Brown had broken off his relationship, but he could not erase the physical relationship Linda and he had had. They had dated for several months, and although they used protection, a person could never be completely sure they hadn't contracted the disease. They had been extremely cautious, but it wasn't enough.  
  
Ephram had planted the idea in his head, and it would not leave. It nagged at his every being. He tried to put it from his mind, but regardless, it returned once again. What if Linda and he had not been safe enough? Ephram had rattled his brain. He had decided that he had to be tested.  
  
The envelope remained in his limp hand. He couldn't do it. He couldn't open the envelop. He longed to know what the results said, but he refused to open the letter in fear of the results.  
  
He had gone into town to have the blood test done. Dr. Abbott and he were the only doctors in town, and he did not want anyone to know. Rumors spread like wildfire in Everwood.  
  
He remembered how anxious he was as he walked into the waiting room. He approached the counter and gave his name in a hushed tone. "Andrew Brown."  
  
"Oh, good morning Dr. Brown. Please fill out these papers with all your past medical information." Her voice seemed to echo off the walls. He clenched his teeth.  
  
He found a seat in the corner and began to write down his medical history. His eyes remained focused on the sheet of paper in front of him, but he could feel all eyes staring straight at him. He was convinced that every other patient in the waiting room was looking right at him. He returned the paperwork to the counter and waited for fifteen minutes. The time dragged on. He must have looked at his watch ten times within the fifteen minute span. When the nurse called his name, he jumped out of his seat. As he followed the nurse down the hall, he felt the penetrating eyes once more. He felt as if they all knew why he was there.  
  
He was led into a room and asked to sit and wait. Everything ran through his mind. Was he really in a doctor's office waiting to be tested for the HIV virus? It was unreal. He looked around at the room. The white walls and sterile table made him feel awkward. This setting should have been familiar to him, but now that he was the patient, he felt out of place and strange. It was safe when you were the man making the diagnoses; not the opposite. He tried to bring his mind back to reality. He frantically searched for a new topic to keep his mind busy. Furniture! That's it, furniture! His mind grabbed the topic and would not let it go. He had been meaning to purchase new furniture. Ephram had constantly complained about their old sofa. Ephram! Ephram was so upset with him. It all came tumbling back. His heart had begun to thump in his chest. The pounding seemed to echo throughout his skull. He clenched his fist in an attempt to regain his composure. His body had begun to quake in an uncontrollable manner. His heart continued to beat hard against his rib cage. The organ felt as if it would burst from his chest.  
  
The door slowly opened and a tall woman in white entered the room. Her red hair fell across her shoulders. Andy immediently thought of Linda. He began to remember the day she had told him. His emotions were a mix of fear, anger, and sorrow. He could remember his first reaction. No, how could it be. She was so healthy. He loved her so much. But he had accepted it and wanted to pursue their relationship.  
  
The nurse smiled at him, and he responded with a nervous grin.  
  
"Andrew Brown?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok, can you hold your arm out for me, please?" Her tone told Andy that she knew his whole story. He clenched his teeth to restrain himself. He held out his shaky limb. She began the process of finding a vein. The routine procedure seemed to take an eternity. The needle was in a series of seconds, but Andy had struggled through the moment.  
  
"That's it. We'll send you the results."  
  
He jumped from his seat and walked briskly down the hall. The eyes once again seemed to follow him.  
  
He could remember that day so vividly. It would probably never leave his mind. The envelope remained in his hands. He knew he had to read the letter. Slowly, he began to tear the paper. When his task was completed, he pulled the contents of the envelop out. He took several seconds to unfold the letter. He was not in a hurry to know the verdict. Once the letter was unfolded, he slowly began to read the note. His eyes wandered over several numbers and other medical terminology. Usually it would have been the first thing he read, but not this time. His eyes finally came into focus with the answer.  
  
"Positive," his mouth managed to shape the word. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

            Andy took a deep breath and picked up the phone. He had received his results a week ago and he knew he had to tell Ephram. Ephram had been away at Julliard for three weeks. Andy did not know how he was going to explain the situation to Ephram. Ephram knew they had had sex. This was not anything new to him. But when Ephram had learned about Linda's infection, he wanted to know if his father had been tested. The contraction of the disease was the first thing that had come to his mind. Andy had reassured Ephram that they had been careful. Ephram had trusted him, and now he had to tell him the horrible news.

            As he began to dial the number, his hands shook nervously. He listened patiently as the phone rang. With every ring, he took a deep breath. What if Ephram was not in? He did not know if he could build up the nerve to repeat this routine.

            "Hello," Ephram's familiar voice spoke out on the other line.

            "Hey Ephram! How are you?"

            "Good…um...did you need something? I'm kind of in the middle of something. A friend and I are practicing a piece Professor Stanley gave us to work on."

            "Um, yeah…um…yeah…I just wanted...to…"

            "Dad, Is everything alright? Is Delia ok?" A tone of concern came over Ephram's voice.

            "O, yes, yes of course. She's great. Um, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something serious concerning myself." He took a deep breath. "Ephram, you know that Linda and I were sexually active. And you know that Linda is infected with the HIV virus. Well, I went to be tested last week and…"

            Stop! I don't want to hear anymore."

            "But, Ephram you have to understand. I have the disease, but these days people live many years without getting full-blown AIDS. I could live the rest of my life completely fine if I take the appropriate meds. I have a friend…"

            Dad, shut up! I don't want to hear your medical crap. You're my dad. Delia and I have already lost our mom. Why did you do this?"

            "Ephram, I didn't ask for this to happen?"

            "You slept with her. You knew she had the disease and you slept with her anyway."

            "We took all possible precautions."

            "Yeah, but you still slept with her. You didn't think about the lives of your children. You just thought about yourself."

            "Ephram…" The dial tone rang in Dr. Brown's ear.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

            Andy slammed the phone down onto its cradle. How could Ephram treat him like that? He was his father. He knew it was a hard thing to deal with, but he could have been little more considerate. His father was sick.

            Andy paced around his living room. What should he do now? He needed someone to talk to. He peered out of his window. Nina was pulling into her driveway. He walked outside toward Nina's house.

            "Andy! What's up? You don't look very happy."

            "I just had a not so pleasant conversation with my son."

            "What's wrong?"

            "Well, I guess I should tell you the news. I would appreciate it if you don't tell any other person about it, but I was tested for the HIV virus. I know you heard everything about Linda. Well, I got the results and they were positive."

            "Oh my gosh," Nina was silent for several minutes. She seemed to want to say something but couldn't bring herself to say it. "I can see why Ephram was upset." These were the only words she could force out.

            "But why? Shouldn't he be a little supportive?"

            "I want to be there for you Andy, but your son has a reason for being a little upset."

            "Why does everyone keep putting this on me? Yes, I slept with Linda, but we were careful. I used protection."

            "Yes, but you still slept with her. That was your decision."

            "Oh my god, why does everyone keep saying that?"

            "Because it's true!" Nina walked onto her doorstep. "Good-bye Andy." She stepped inside her house and closed the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

            Andy Brown sat at his kitchen table. He held his head in his hands as he thought. A pad of stationary, along with several wadded up sheets of paper were scattered in front of him on the table. It had been a week since he had delivered the news to Nina. He still didn't understand why she had reacted in the manner she had. He hoped he could confide in her about this new pressing issue. But instead, it had pushed them farther apart. He had no one he could talk to. Ephram refused to speak to him. Nina seemed to be upset at him. He still hadn't decided how to break the news to Delia.

            He had decided he must write a letter to Linda. She would understand him and he felt he must let her know. He wrestled with the idea all week. He didn't want her to feel responsible. But she still had a right to know. But every attempt was at a loss. He had already gone through a half dozen pieces of his stationary.

            He took another sheet from the pad and made the seventh attempt.

Dear Linda,

            He lifted the ball point pen from the sheet. How could he tell Linda that she had given him the HIV virus. How could any human being inform another that they had given them the HIV virus? It was like holding someone responsible for your inevitable death.

Dear Linda,

            His pen found its place on the sheet once more.

            I have some unfortunate news.

            He couldn't start the letter in such a way. He had to think of a more casual way to bring it up. Casual! This was anything but casual news. Andy fought with himself as he searched for the appropriate words to deliver the news.

            We will both willingly admit that our relationship was more than just a simple friendship. And we both know that that relationship became physical. We took precautions to prevent the contraction of your disease, but our attempts, though noble, did not produce the wanted effect. I was tested over a week ago and received the results. I am HIV positive. I did not write this letter to frighten you. And I did not write this letter to blame you. I just thought it was your right to know. I don't expect any response or reaction from you. I just had to let you know.

Sincerely,

Andy

            Andy ran his eyes back over the letter he had just written. Was this appropriate. Maybe it was a mistake to write this letter. What was he going to gain from writing this letter? But she had to know. She loved him. He loved her. He couldn't keep it from her.

            But how would she respond? The question lingered in his mind. He didn't want to hurt her. But she had given him the disease. Shouldn't she be notified? But where would that get him? She already knew she had the disease. This would just give her more pain. The whole town had pushed her out of her home town. How could he tell her that he now had the disease that had single-handedly ruined both her and her own brother's medical practice in Everwood? Dr. Brown picked up the letter. Both hands grasped the top of the letter on either side. He went to tear the letter down the middle but stopped in mid air. Something told him he had to mail the letter. He had to do it. He was not sure why, but he had to do it. He folded the letter into three equal segments and put it into a spare envelop that sat beside him on the kitchen table. As he labeled the envelop with the appropriate address, he once more began to question his decision. He brought the envelop flap to his lips and he quickly licked the flap. As he ran his finger over the flap to seal it, he new there was no going back. It was sealed now and it must be sent. He quickly walked out of his front door and walked toward his mailbox. He must send it now, or he never would. As he returned to his front porch he saw Nina looking through her front window. Would she ever speak to him again?


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, sorry for taking so long to update. I had a busy summer and now I'm back at school. I know its not much, but I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 5**

Dr. Brown slowly made his way down the long, white, taunting halls of Denver hospital. He had his first appointment with his new doctor. The appointment was scheduled so that Dr. Jones and Andy could discuss the medications Andy would be taking. As a member of the medical world, Andy knew too well that for the rest of his life he would be forced to swallow an unrealistic amount of pills each day. He knew that this cocktail would keep him alive, but the idea was anything but delightful.

But he was determined to get through this. He had to be strong. Crying would get him absolutely no where in the end. He had to be strong. He had to be strong for his children. He still hadn't found a way to explain the situation to Delia. The blow up with Ephram had been enough.

Andy came to the end of the hall he had been following and made a quick right. He approached an admittance desk and scribbled down his information. He then strolled over to a seat in the waiting room and sat down. He lifted a copy of Newsweek from a table and began flipping pages. But he could not focus his mind on any particular article. His eyes wandered around the waiting room. His eyes landed on a woman in the far corner. Her cheeks looked pale and she seemed to be in poor health. Andy's mind began to race. Was she there for the same reason Andy was? Did she have the HIV virus? Was he going to look like her in a few years? Of course not. They had caught the disease very quickly and if he did as told the disease may never progress. He new how the virus worked. He had seen many patients with the same thing in his lifetime. But somehow his medical knowledge could not comfort him. It wasn't enough. He needed someone. He needed another human being to comfort him and let him know that he was going to be okay. But who would that person be? Ephram would never forgive him. Nina wouldn't talk to him. He didn't know how to explain this situation to Delia. Linda was on the other side of the globe. He had no one to talk to. He had no one to confide in.

"Andrew Brown." A nurse had emerged from behind a shut door. "Dr. Jones is ready to see you. Please follow me."

Dr. Brown followed the woman in the doorway and then down a short hallway and into a small room.

"He'll be in in just a moment."

The woman left the room, closing the door behind her. Andy sat nervously waiting for Dr. Jones to arrive. Andy had worked with Jones on many occasions. He always sent his patients to him when they were diagnosed. He was the best in Colorado. But now that he was the patient, it was different.

Dr. Brown sat up in his chair as he heard the doorknob twist. Dr. Jones walked in the small room, extending his hand. "How have you been, Andy? How are the kids?"

"The kids are great, thank you. Ephram is at Julliard."

"How about yourself? Care to tell me what happened?"

"I was in a relationship. We loved each other. We used protection. We both knew the risks."

There was a pause. The two men looked at each other. "Well, you know the drill. You'll have to take a large amount of medications. There is a new drug. Would you be interested in participating in our study? You would be a perfect candidate considering you are in the first stages of the disease. And we could use a member of the medical field to tell us exactly what it's doing."

"Let's go for it." Andy managed to put on a fake voice. Inside he was screaming. He had never imagined he would be part of an experimental drug trial. Those were his patients, not him. Dr. Jones went on to explain the technical medical aspects of his new meds. Usually, a conversation of this kind would have fascinated Andy, but he found it particularly difficult to concentrate. After twenty minutes, Dr. Jones came to the conclusion of his explanation and the two men rose to their feet. "You'll have to come to the hospital pharmacy to pick up your prescription. These meds are not available in your home pharmacy. I want to see you in three weeks to see how you react to the drugs. You can pick them up tomorrow."

"Thanks," Andy shook hands with his friend and made his way out of the hospital. He quickly found his car and sat down in the driver seat. He slowly closed the door and began to cry. He leaned on the steering wheel and let the tears fall.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm hoping to have the next chapter up soon, because I actually know what it will be about. Please, please, please review. I haven't received many reviews on one of my new fics and I'm getting a little discouraged. **

**Chapter 6**

Andy pulled up onto his driveway and turned the engine off. His life was on a downward spiral and he didn't know how he was going to handle it. Covering his face with his hands, he leaned into the steering wheel and began to cry. When he moved to Everwood, it was to start his life over again. He left the life before, the life where he had nothing to do with his family, the life he never really lived. But now, he was back in the same place. He was far from happy. His attempts to bring Ephram and himself closer together had been severed in one conversation. The rest of his life had been completely altered.

Raising his head quickly, he responded to the sound of the passenger door opening. "Mind if I join you." Andy peered into Nina's eyes.

"Um, sure. I'm sorry. I'm a wreck."

"Need someone to talk to?" she scooted into the passenger's seat and shut the door carefully.

I just came from the doctor. I'm starting meds. Everything has just hit me so hard. I don't know how I'm going to handle all of this."

"Well, you don't have to handle it alone. What do you have family and friends for?"

"But I don't want to put this on other people and I don't want everyone to know. You saw what happened to Dr. Abbot."

"I understand, but you just can't keep this secret inside and let the anger and frustration and pain build up. You'll explode. Tell your family. Tell those close to you. They'll help you through it. You can get through it."

"Thanks, I guess you're right. Why are you always right?"

Nina smiled, "I'm a woman. We know everything. Its part of the job description."

The two laughed at Nina's joke, clearing the gloom that had lingered. "Andy, I'm sorry about the other day. Your news just took me by surprise, and I'm sorry, but I understand where ephram was coming from. He loves you so much and he just doesn't want to lose another parent. Losing Julia was hard on Ephram."

"Oh my God, why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I realize that? I'm so stupid."

"No, just a little dumb." Nina smiled. "Look, it happened and now it's over, you can't do anything to change, but you can talk to him again. Apologize and try talking to him about it."

"Nina, what would I do without you?"

"You'd be lost without me. I'll talk to you later. I need to pick Sam up from a friend's house." Nina evacuated the vehicle, leaving Andy alone.

"How did I get so lucky with her?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Andy slid out of his car, and proceeded to enter his house. Throwing his car keys onto his desk he rolled over his chair and sat down in front of his computer. He pulled up his email in search of a response from an old friend from medical school that he had been keeping in contact with pretty regularyly. He didn't know how he was going to tell this long lost friend his new news. He scanned the list of new received emails. Without thinking, he automatically deleted several spam emails, hunting for the appropriate address. Suddenly, he stopped himself as he ran across a new name.

"Ephram Brown," he mouthed as he clicked on the email to open it. Leaning back in his large, leather chair, he read his son's email.

Dad,

I can't believe I'm even sending this email, but here it goes. I can't lie and tell you I'm not still pissed at you, because I am, and will probably be for a long time. You knew what you were doing. You're a doctor. You're the one always preaching stuff like this to other people. What, did you think for some reason you could beet the odds; that you were special somehow? Because guess what Dad, you aren't and you can't. Dad, Delia and I have already lost one parent. That's something you don't understand. You've never had to deal with such a situation. You have no idea how it feels to lose the one who is supposed to take care of you. And then you went and put yourself in a vulnerable position. I can't seem to get over that, Dad. I love Linda, and I know you felt for her too, but I thought you loved Delia and me more.

But despite all this, you're still my dad. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose another parent. I'm sorry I blew up at you, but you have to understand, and realize I had perfect reason too. I come home in two weeks, and I hope that we can work through this. It's definitely going to be weird, but I really don't want another thing to piss each other off with. I am tired of that.

Please think about all this.

Ephram

Holding his head in his hands, he reflected upon his son's words. What made him think he could withstand it? What made him think that he of all people could be the lucky one? And why hadn't he thought of his children? They had already lost one parent? He couldn't be selfish anymore. It was now his job to live for them, not himself. And why was he blessed with such a wonderful son. The email itself had blown him away. Ephram was as stubborn as his father. Neither of them would ever give in to the other, nor admit weakness, but Ephram had given in, because he knew he had to. He knew this had to be worked on. Why did he, Dr. Andrew Brown, get such an amazing son?

Clicking on respond, Andy began a response to his son.

Ephram,

First, I want to thank you for this email. It meant a lot to me, that you would actually do such a thing and realize that we need to acknowledge and work on this. My eyes have definitely been opened and I can't tell you how much I'm regretting my actions over the last year. I should have thought of Delia and You, but instead, I only thought of myself.

I don't know why I thought I could outrun this disease. I was simply being selfish and stupid. I wanted Linda. I didn't think about any of the consequences. I only thought of myself.

But please don't blame any of this on her. It was me, only me. Please remember that.

Oh, and don't think I figured all of this out on my own. You can thank Nina when you get home.

See you in two weeks,

Dad

Satisfied with his response, he hit send. Finishing at the computer, he made his way into the kitchen to find something to eat.

"One kid down," he told himself as he pulled a loaf of bread from the pantry. How was he going to tell Delia? It would be completely different with her. She was younger. She had no idea that Linda and her dad had been sleeping together. He never wanted her to know that. She was young and innocent; he wanted to keep her that way. Her initial response to Linda had been hard enough. Delia rejected her at first, never wanting anymore to fill her mother's place. How would she respond when she found out that that woman gave her father a disease that would one day take his life? It wasn't Linda's fault, but Delia wouldn't realize that.

"Why was I so stupid?" he banged his head against the fridge. "Delia is the only woman in my life. Why did I have to change that?"

"What? What did you say, Dad? Is everything ok?" Delia had entered the house and then the kitchen. Dr. Brown jumped, surprised by his daughter's entrance.

"I thought you were staying at your friend Melinda's house?"

"Her mom just dropped me off. We got bored, so…"

"Oh ok, um Delia, um, I want to, um…I want to talk to you about something very serious. Will you come and sit at the kitchen table with me?"

A/N:

Hahahehe, everyone else always does annoying cliff hangers that make you anxious for more and beg for updates, so here is my pathetic attempt at one. And sorry for my long absence. I'm busy with school and have been working on some other stuff for Please read and review. Psalm57 likes reviews like cookie monster likes cookies.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Andy took a seat at the kitchen table and asked his daughter to sit across from him. The time had come: he was going to tell his precious daughter something she did not want to hear; something she did not deserve to hear.

But how to begin the conversation. It was not a simple conversation passed between father and daughter. Stalling for a moment, he searched for something to break the ice. "So, did you have fun at your friend's house?"

"Yeah," she replied with boredom.

"Did you do anything fun?" he offered, still skating around the intended topic of conversation.

"We just did each others hair and stuff. Dad, what do you want to talk to me about?"

He had been figured out. Delia knew he had something much greater to talk to her about.

"Ok, you got me." He breathed in and began, "Delia, you know what HIV and AIDS are, right?"

"Yeah Dad. Most kids do these days. You'd have to live under a rock not to."

"Yeah, um, and you know that Linda had it." He continued. He remembered the controversy it had caused throughout Everwood when it had leaked out. It had disgusted him how judgmental the people of the little town could be. It was a far contrast to his old home of New York.

"Uh-huh," the young girl responded with some confusion. She seemed to be questioning where the conversation was going.

"Delia, do you know how the disease is spread?"

"What disease? Do you mean AIDS?"

"Yes, do you know how HIV is spread?"

"Um, well in our health class at school we learned that it can be spread through needles or," she paused as any elementary student might, "through sex" she whispered.

Dr. Brown exhaled. This conversation had so far proved to be easer than he had imagined. He had no idea what to think originally, but he began to realize just how intelligent his young daughter was. He suddenly realized that children weren't as ignorant as parents hoped and believed.

But regardless, the next part of the conversation would be the most difficult by far. He had to tell his young, innocent child that he had the horrible disease. And in turn, how he got the disease. Would she be disappointed? Would she be disgusted? Would she understand? Would she blame it on Linda? Hundreds of questions poured from his mind. He began to regret the introduction of this conversation. He had to talk to her, but why did he choose now? Why this particular point in time? He could simply send her to her room and end the conversation before it became too difficult. But no, he had to do this. It was now or never. His beautiful, perfect, innocent daughter deserved to know about her father.

"Delia, you know that Linda and I were dating for awhile? That we had a pretty serious relationship?"

"Yeah," she said half-heartedly. She had always had a hard time accepting the relationship between Linda and her father.

"Well, Delia, um, we were pretty serious, and when grownups become pretty serious, sometimes, they um…they um…they sleep together." He delivered in one breath.

Delia looked at him for further direction. She wasn't quite sure where to take his confession yet.

"Ok?" she replied.

"Delia," he inhaled greatly, preparing himself for the major confession. "Delia, Linda and I slept together. And, and I have HIV now."

"You mean you knew she was sick, and you could get sick too, and you had sex with her anyway?" the young girl blurted out. She was not ignorant. She understood it completely.

"Yes," was all he could say. She had understood it all. He couldn't coat it any for her. She knew the truth and he couldn't taint it in any way.

"Dad, how could you? Are you going to die?"

"NO, not now. People live with this disease everyday. I'll have to take medicine, and one day I will get worse, but that won't be for a long time." he tried to sound convincing.

"But you will get sick one day and die."

"Well, yes, but not for a long, long time, Sweetie. Everyone dies some time."

You're going to die like mom?"

"Delia, no…" but he had nothing else to say. What could he say? Yes, one day he would die.

"I hate you, Dad." She pushed herself away from the kitchen table and ran upstairs to her bedroom and slammed the door.

Sitting at the kitchen table, he contemplated what to do. How as he going to deal with this. Ephram had finally reached out to him, and now his only other child hated him. He needed support from both his children, and now his youngest hated him. But she loved Ephram more than himself, he thought. Maybe when Ephram came home in two weeks, Ephram could talk to her. Help her understand the circumstances. But were the circumstances? He had slept with a woman even when he knew she was sick. Now, he was paying for it. Delia had every right to hate him right now. He would wait until Ephram got home and then work it out. Delia deserved to hate him right now. It was her right.

A/N:

Sorry for my long absence. School kept me way too busy this year, but it is the summer now, and all I'm going to do is write. I'll be updating this fic as well as several others I've got going, as well as a few new ones I have on my mind, so please keep a look out and please read and review. Psalm57 likes reviews like cookie monster likes cookies.


End file.
